Seth Meyers Says Hunter Biden Conspiracies Are ‘Pizzagate All Over Again’ (Video)

The Wrap

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“Late Night With Seth Meyers” was back on Monday after taking last week off, and Meyers came out swinging with a 13-minute edition of “A Closer Look” that tried really hard to sum up the craziness of the past week in the world of politics.

Meyers had a lot to cover in the segment, so it was later on when he got to the topic of Hunter Biden and a baseless New York Post story that conservatives have breathlessly tried to turn into a thing over the past week. Snopes has a pretty solid rundown of what we actually know about that story,and potential ramifications.

“The president and his party are actively getting people sick. Trump and the GOP clearly do not care how many Americans die from this disease. They’re more upset about Facebook and Twitter not letting them spread obvious bulls— about a New York Post story even the Post’s own reporters didn’t want to put their names on,” Meyers said, mocking the Republican fixation on that specious story.

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“The out-of-control pandemic that is once again spiking across the country and the economic misery that comes with it are the stories that matter most. And Trump and the GOP can’t just talk them away no matter how hard they try. That’s why they’re unraveling, inciting violence against their opponents and spinning wild conspiracy theories.

“Over the last few days Trump has repeatedly called for Joe Biden, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Gretchen Whitmer, the governor of Michigan, to be thrown in jail, even after a right-wing terrorist plot to kidnap Whitmer was uncovered. This weekend two of his most obsequious toadies floated a psychotic and vile charge against Hunter Biden.”

“Late Night” then pulled up a clip of Fox News host Maria Bartiromo talking on Sunday with Ron Johnson. In the clip, Bartiromo supported some pretty flimsy speculation that takes these Hunter Biden conspiracy theories to a new level.

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“There is analysis of the subpoena’s handwriting, and it suggests that the subpoena was served by an FBI agent whose name is Joshua Wilson, and over the last five years he has been working on child pornography issues,” Bartiromo said, before suggesting without any actual evidence that maybe Hunter Biden is a pedophile.

Meyers was horrified.

“These rotten, soulless husks are just doing Pizzagate all over again, and they didn’t even have any new details. They just did a search and replace with Hunter Biden in for Hillary Clinton. I mean, at least punch it up a little bit come on, it’s season 4. Add an evil twin or a talking cat,” Meyers joked.

Pizzagate, in case you’re unaware of it, was a Qanon precursor conspiracy theory about a group of political elites who were secretly pedophiles who ran a child sex trafficking ring out of the basement of a pizza parlor in Washington. Nevermind that the pizza joint in question doesn’t have a basement, the completely baseless and thoroughly debunked theory thrives to this day. Read more about it here.

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“And you know, everyone’s focused on Wisconsin cheese turd Ron Johnson here, and rightly so. But let’s not forget Maria Bartiromo, who is also a true crazy person. And you can just tell from the way she talks. She’s got that vibe of an aunt who spends all her time reading about alien autopsies on internet message boards.”

As the “A Closer Look” drew to a close, Meyers tried to sum up what exactly is going on right now.

“The reason they’re trying to slime the Bidens is because they can’t actually talk about Trump’s horrendous record. And now, with two weeks until the election, as millions of people line up to vote early and Biden widens his lead national polls, the president has been as erratic as ever,” Meyers said.

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“He’s concocting a hare-brained scheme with his Italian Dracula lawyer to spread disinformation about the Biden family calling for political opponents to be thrown in jail and inciting violence against the governor of Michigan, laying the groundwork for a sequel to Bush v Gore, begging suburban women to like him, threatening to leave the country if he loses, suggesting on Twitter that Biden had the members of SEAL Team 6 murdered after failing to kill Osama bin Laden — who is according to this theory still alive — and claiming the military has some sort of secret aquatic weapon.”

That last sentence, in case you aren’t aware, is a joke about Trump at a rally referring repeatedly to American “hydrosonic missiles.”

“We’re watching a deeply dangerous man, supported by a deeply dangerous party, unravel at the prospect of losing power. They don’t seem to care who they hurt or who gets sick in the process but it’s in our power to stop him by voting to repudiate him in overwhelming numbers.”

You can watch the full “A Closer Look” segment from Monday’s episode of “Late Night With Seth Meyers” in the video embedded in this article.

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